So, I'm thinking of calling it The Maidens of Spider Mountain. This will be a fairly large dungeon complex, only because I haven't had a better idea yet. I'm still answering questions about the basic story.
As most of you know, I suffer from a severe case of gamer add. My internal channel flipper is set to "Infinite loop", I can never focus on one thing for long. Still not sure why, but I've learned to live with it. I'm fighting this battle on multiple fronts. You may or may not have noticed I suffer from multiple "writers only" conditions. Random capiTalization SYdrOme., a serious coMma infestation, and a lack of deadline enforcement. These are the major reasons why I will probably never write professionally. Publishers are notoriously stuffy about such things.
I have The Bloodrose Campaign 100% done, in my head, much like Mozart. It's all here in my noodle. It's getting onto the paper where I fail miserably. Maybe I should just get an old school tape recorder and record it all as a stream of consciousness thing. I don't know how many people would be willing to read such a thing.
Of course the thought "Does anyone really care" floats through my head at least 22 times a day. Then I remember the first rule of writing... "A Writer writes" Doesn't matter if it's good or bad just fucking write it down.
I'm beginning to think I'll never get the Bloodrose campaign down on paper. It's there and complete. Just not completely written down anywhere. Maybe I need to run it for players, that might be the impetus I need to get all down on paper.
I have considered, in the past year, running a PBEM game. But the old doubts resurface and eventually I just give up. I don't think I have the temperament to run a game anymore. Probably a good thing as I was not the best GM anyone had ever seen. I do acknowledge my faults. That's the advantage of age. My faults don't eat me alive anymore. I'm not perfect, never have been.
I have a few hopes for 2017. I hope I can finally get the Bloodrose campaign all down on paper, then onto the blog. (Don't hold yer breath) I hope the new anti-oxidant therapy will help with my MS. (again, don't hold yer breath Horseman) Really hoping I can get the entire Space Fluff story down on paper. I like where it's going, but I don't want to be trite. So I keep steering away from plotlines I've read elsewhere. I want it to be a science fiction story worthy of my father's attention. Trying to stay away from the common tropes that seem to crop up everywhere lately. I hope I can actually play in a tabletop game in the coming year. One I don't end up running. It always comes down to me running a game because everyone wants to just play. I just want to play, so I won't be volunteering anymore. If the game fizzles, the game fizzles. Not my monkey, not my circus. I'll just go find something else.
Really hoping my depression doesn't interfere with my creativity anymore. This kind of thing can be avoided with proper exercise of discipline and compartmentalization of the bad brainwaves.
Does it make me a bad person that I have no ambition to be published? That's one of those existential questions that has been colliding with my grey matter this year. Not that you, dear reader, really give a flying flatulation, but this is what happens when you're 3 sheets to the wind and decide to write out your frustrations. Maybe I should have been an old fashioned story teller. I don't know. I have a deplorable excess of over-imagination, and a severe lack of motivation. Not a good combination.
Anyway, I hope all your gaming wishes come true this year. May you slay the dragons holding you back.
happy gaming!
No comments:
Post a Comment